‘I’d rather be honest than angry.’-Zoe Hart, Hart of Dixie
Crazy how lines written for a television show can mean so much in real life!
I’ve been learning this lesson over the last 6 years, more so the last 3-4 years, since I’ve met my husband. And especially since getting married to him, I’ve learned I’ve had to be way more honest and intentional in my communication. Not that I used to lie to him before, but I wasn’t always fully honest. I never realized that by not being honest, it was holding me hostage, it was holding me back.
I’ve always let fear stop me from being honest with people. Scared I would lose friends, scared that relationships would be damaged if I was truly honest with them. I never was scared of losing someone’s respect, nor did I love myself enough to realize it was definitely messing with my own health.
I let people walk all over me. I usually thought of others’ first. When people confronted me, I shrank and acted like I didn’t care. Then later on, I would rant about the situation. Silly, right? Yet that’s what I did. And the anger kept me hostage.
What I’ve learned recently is that honestly really is the best policy. Once honesty is communicated, you can begin to take steps forward to correct things, if they need correction. Other times honesty is just good for your health. If nothing else, that tension that once was inside of you while you were angry disappears.
One thing I learned in counseling is that we all have certain reactions to things when they bother us, usually a tension in our body. It’s up to us to be honest and speak up about them, because it needs to be released and relieved. We know ourselves and that point of tension better than anyone else does. No need in holding in anger and continuing the dishonesty.
Be honest. Release the anger and let it go. Don’t let anger hold you hostage, instead let honesty free you.
Honesty really is the best policy.