Posted in Faith, Life, Married Life, Relationships

Year two, looking back

At a relative’s wedding, Long Island, April 2012

As we gear up towards our second anniversary (TEN DAYS y’all, TEN!), I am in awe of the people that we’ve become, inside of marriage especially. We were practically kids when we began dating six years ago-I had just said goodbye to my teenage years, while K (dear husband) was entering his mid twenties. When we got married almost 2 years ago, I was just finishing college, entering my mid twenties, he was closing in on thirty.

We’ve been through SO much the last year especially. Losing his sister, and 3 other people who were near and dear to me, along with dealing with work-related stress (on my end) and health issues, wasn’t easy. We’ve definitely had our share of issues, together and separately, but we’ve made it through another year. Fortunately, we can say that the good has outweighed the bad.

I’ve learned SO much about my husband, and about myself as a wife too. As we continue on this marital journey, communication and honesty is everything for us. Even if it hurts, we’ve vowed to be honest with each other, for the sake of our marriage and individual health. It’s never good to hold onto anger, you’re better off releasing it. If you’re mad at your spouse? Tell them! Even if you think it’ll hurt, in the long run, it’s better for the marriage.

We’ve continued to remember what has gotten us through it all, God, and laughing together. Laughing together, is a great way to release stress. We’ve also branched out on our own a bit more in this second year-him playing flag football on Sundays (year round I might add lol) and me getting back to my love for writing and traveling. It feels great being able to remember what attracted us to each other-his ability to make me laugh, our shared love of sports, music and movies,  me supporting him in whatever he does. Our individual pursuits have brought us even closer together, and I’m thankful.

Marriage ISN’T rosy all the time, we’ve had our share of arguments, times we wondered if we were doing the right thing, times where we didn’t even wanna look or talk to each other. And then, we’d remember our vows, we’d remember the promises we made to each other, and to God. To love, cherish, for better and for worse, sickness and in health. Til death do us part.

Being married to him isn’t a cakewalk, but it’s easily the best thing I’ve ever done, no contest. Marriage, for us, means breakfast in bed, leaving love notes, playing hooky from work to sneak out-of-town for a day (shhhhh!), going to baseball games together. It means having a secret handshake that nobody else knows about but us, chasing each other down the apartment hallway like two little kids, trading music between our iPods. It means having someone to share life’s biggest moments with, good, bad, and in between.

Being married to my best friend, is EVERYTHING. And the things I learned in Year 2? I know I’ll apply them in year 3. I feel proud of the foundation we’re building in our marriage, and I can’t wait to bring kids into the picture. I’m proud of him, the man he’s becoming, the husband that he is to me, and the man he will be. He’s proud of me as a woman, as a wife, as his best friend. We’re proud of us, because we remember the tough times, when mistakes were made, where we said things that were hurtful, where we misunderstood each other, where we didn’t even know what we were doing. Tough times will continue to come, definitely, but we know that as long as we have each other, along with honesty, trust, communication, patience, and God? We can’t lose. We won’t lose.

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Author:

A thirty something city kid from the midwest (born, raised and educated in Ohio!) Urban/Higher Education professional, I love supporting schools and organizations in their efforts to educate urban youth and young adults. I'm also passionate about helping young adults find their purpose and live it out! I'm constantly growing and evolving. I'm a mom to a brilliant active little boy, a proud member of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Incorporated, and I'm ready to change the world, one life at a time!

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