Posted in Life

Sunday Soul: Staying in Your Lane

Summertime Chi, 2011

I can honestly say that I have always marched to the beat of my own drum.

I wore the shoes (Keds when everyone else was wearing the latest Jordans or Nike shoes) I wanted to wear. I listened to what I wanted to listen to. I dated how and who I wanted to date (even though I wasn’t technically allowed to). I was constantly trying what others never thought of. I was always doing what others never thought to do.

Because of how I was raised (daughter of a preacher with a ton of restrictions placed upon me), yes, I was ridiculed, but I avoided a lot of heartache, headache, and drama that others have gone through. It has also taught me to stay in my lane and not compare my life to others.

The urge to compare, the temptation, never fully goes away, at least, until you are able to accept your lot in life. Your peers, seem to be your greatest competition.

I would like to heavily disagree. Your peers, in fact, are not your greatest competition.

You are.

Comparing your life to that of your peers, will have you constantly feeling inadequate, like you will never measure up. I speak from experience. I’ve run in my lane, looking to the side, and almost crashing and burning  due to comparison.

Then I remember who I am.

The woman who has had rules rewritten, bended, or broken for her. The woman who has had positions created for her. The woman who has had her pick of positions in several organizations, and turned them down. The woman who has always done what made her happy.

I have had to remind myself my whole life that I’m not here to do what is already being done. I’m here to do what hasn’t. 

I occasionally look wistfully at pictures on social media, of other people’s houses, kids, careers/jobs, and want their life. But I really don’t want their life. I just want it because they have it and they make it look good. And that’s not a good enough reason to want it. In those very moments, I am reminded to stay in my lane. My time will come, if it’s meant to come. If not, something better [for me] will come. 

Know who you are. And whose you are. Know your lane, work it well, and own it, in a way that nobody else can. I can’t even begin to list the many opportunities that have come my way, tailor-made, just for me. And I know they are tailor-made, because not many can handle the pressure of being the first, of setting a precedent. Staying in my lane has brought me to places I never could have imagined, opportunities that were once in a lifetime. It has even enhanced my marriage beyond belief. I don’t say any of this to brag, I say this being aware of the awesome lane that I am in.

Be careful of what you covet, you don’t know the entire story and you never will. Run like a horse with blinders, completely oblivious to the progress being made by the other horses in the race. Have that tunnel vision that causes you to focus on your assignment and purpose  in life.

You have no idea how awesome life can be staying in your lane. Maybe it’s about time you find out.



A thirty something city kid from the midwest (born, raised and educated in Ohio!) Middle school english educator in Atlanta, GA hellbent on giving my kiddos the tools they need to advocate for themselves and others! I'm also passionate about helping young adults find their purpose and live it out! I'm constantly growing and evolving. I'm a mom to a little brilliant active black boy and passionate about my faith and spirituality! I'm ready to change the world, one life at a time!

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