Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can’t take the speed it’s moving in
I know I can’t but honestly won’t someone stop this train-
John Mayer, Stop This Train
I can’t really recall the year I first heard this song, perhaps it was 2010?
All I can remember is being scared to get married, because it meant I would never live at home again.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband, and I don’t miss living at home…mostly.
I just knew that would be the end of my sisters living under the same roof. It would be the end of me coming home, hanging out in my sisters’ room and ganging up on my father. It would be the end of me living in my childhood home.
But I knew that I couldn’t slow down time. That even if I didn’t get married, that my sisters would some day leave. And so would I. And someday we’ll all have husbands and kids and houses, maybe pets. We’ll go from our former times of seeing each other every day at breakfast, to seeing each other a few times a year (if we’re fortunate enough) with boyfriends and husbands and kids in tow.
You can’t slow down time.
‘Enjoy being a kid, once you turn 21, it flies by,’ my late grandmother told me one summer afternoon several years ago. I didn’t listen, I was only 18 or 19 at the time. I figured it would be different.
My grandmother was right.
Five years past my 21st birthday (that I lost my grandmother on by the way), and I wished she weren’t right. Time flies by so quickly. My husband and I have been married two years now, even though it feels like we just got married. I’ve adjusted to not living at home, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t wish I could freeze time just for a minute. It’s all the more reason why I stop to smell the roses. Thank God for all that I have right now. Try not to plan too much into the future, because the train will arrive at that destination before I know it.
The present is truly a present, the past is a gift, full of memories, I’m thankful for it all, the good and bad. I just wish the future wasn’t coming so quickly.