Posted in Life, Married Life, Relationships, Religion

The Trivialization of Marriage (and other things)

So, apparently it took a blog about marriage to get me back into the swing of things with writing. Yup. I needed to say something.

This woman, is in a relationship, and has had 2 kids with her boyfriend, as well as bought a house, and desires marriage. Her boyfriend does not. She’s taking that personal.

While I don’t have anything in particular to say about her situation, I do have something to say about the trivialization of marriage.

Over the last few decades, marriage has become ‘just a piece of paper’ to many. And I take that personal. I also know it’s much bigger than me.

There are SEVERAL states, legalizing gay marriage, gay couples all over the country, are fighting for that supposed ‘piece of paper’. Because they recognize, that piece of paper symbolizes something bigger than the both of them, and it comes along with several rights.

In several places, that ‘piece of paper’ is the difference between getting insured under your partner’s insurance or not. It’s the difference between being allowed to visit your loved one in the hospital or not. Among many other rights that I don’t have the time or space to list in this post.

That ‘piece of paper’ symbolizes a commitment, to your loved ones, to each other, that for better or worse, you’re in this for the long haul.

Now, do vows get broken? Of course. It’s human nature, it happens. But it’s not something to take lightly. Folks often do. But in my opinion, it doesn’t change that marriage IS a big deal.

This, is not a post to talk anyone into getting married. If you don’t want to get married, that is fine. I’m not writing to change your mind.

I AM saying, if marriage wasn’t a big deal? It wouldn’t have such a big impact economically and socially in most countries. I respect those who don’t want marriage. Or kids. Or a house. Or those other big life events. However? Don’t trivialize it for those who do want it.

Whatever someone desires? I say if it isn’t harming someone, if it makes them happy, what is wrong with it?

I’m vowing today, to not trivialize anything that does no harm, if someone desires it.

If I want kids? Dog, don’t tell me how having kids isn’t a big deal, and how kids ruin your life, and a bunch of other things, to trivialize and minimize what I think will make me happy.

If I want to go to Europe? Don’t tell me how going to Europe is overrated and that I won’t like it, and that it’s not a big thing.

I want what I want. And I’m not settling. Period.

This is a gospel song, but Marvin Winans sums up how I feel in ‘I Still Believe’.



A thirty something city kid from the midwest (born, raised and educated in Ohio!) Middle school english educator in Houston, TX...passionate about preparing my kiddos to be successful in high school and beyond! I'm also passionate about helping young adults find their purpose and live it out! I'm constantly growing and evolving. I'm a mom to a little brilliant active black boy and passionate about my faith and spirituality! I'm ready to change the world, one life at a time!

One thought on “The Trivialization of Marriage (and other things)

  1. Nicely written! I find it annoying and troubling when other people want to impose their doubts and issues about marriage, having kids, etc onto you. Let people want what they want and leave it at that. But like you mentioned, gay couples obviously recognize there’s something larger about the institution of marriage that many heterosexual people are taking for granted.

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