My, how alot has happened since i wrote in here last. I am in a different state, beginning a new journey as a teacher…
And once again, I’m in a new place where I don’t recognize the woman in the mirror.
But it’s a good thing. I don’t recognize her because, she’s more vocal. More assertive. More sure of herself. More of herself.
In the midst of all these life changes…the divorce…the job loss…the new job…the moving 1300 miles away from everything I’ve ever known…I haven’t wanted to write OR do videos.
I had to make myself sit down and write this. I have a few trusted friends that I confide in and spill my emotions and feelings to. Between that, and just trying to process it all…my desire to write has all but disappeared lately.
Truth be told, this season, my new home in the great state of Texas, is great but SUPER uncomfortable at times. I came here, to experience the discomfort. I knew that growth was waiting on the other side. But geez…lol. You never know how uncomfortable things will be until you are smack in the middle of it. Til you’re forced to face the conundrum of things in your life that seem to oppose each other. Til you’re forced to get over your ego, your pride, your past hurts to reach out to others for help.
I can sit here and say that it hasn’t been easy to deal with my own fear of rejection, failure, and discomfort as I navigate a new place, both literally and physically. But it’s been healing, in a strange way, to rediscover who I am, to confront those fears and to push past discomfort. There’s no person, place, or thing that is magical, that will cause you to grow. Your mindset, however, is the key to growth. Your mindset determines whether or not you’ll see challenges and run or see them as an opportunity to grow. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that those three things don’t influence your mindset. They absolutely do. You ever go sit by the lake to think? Or go to your best friend’s house when you’re feeling down and need uplifting? Take a late night drive when you’re on the brink of major decisions?
Those things can do wonders for your mindset, but at the end of the day, you must choose to change your mindset to reach your desired destination and goal.
When I felt God leading me to Houston, I knew that a different mindset would be necessary to navigate this transition. I knew that I could not use the mindset I’d always used. I knew that in order to be open to growing and expanding and becoming more of myself, I had to be willing to develop new habits, to be uncomfortable, to learn. Those things have served me well but not without tears, without wanting to throw in the towel, without wanting to go back where I came from.
I would do myself a great disservice if I didn’t push past the discomfort. I know the reward waiting on the other side and yet, I think it will surprise me beyond my wildest dreams.
So cheers to being willing to be uncomfortable and step out on faith. Whatever lies ahead…God knows.