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Room to Grow

It helps a GREAT deal to be able to name how you feel and identify what is going on with you.

It’s no secret that I have had a difficult time adjusting to ATL. I also realized today my propensity for going back to familiar spaces and places when things get tough. It’s how I cope with change.

In case you haven’t figured it out, I haven’t done well with major life changes.

And yet, I’ve had plenty of it in the last 3 years. I’ve moved, been laid off twice, switched jobs, moved away from friends, etc.

Nobody really talks about the grief involved each time you are laid off, or move. Or encounter some other kind of major life change. Especially if you move away.

With each ending, there is loss. Even if there is new beginnings you are looking forward to, you’re still losing something.

And loss for me is something I’ve still not yet mastered in learning how to cope with.

Running away to familiarity is what I do. Mostly familiar places. And Spaces.

But interestingly enough, I usually find that people have changed, hell, I have changed.

So now I realize, being here in ATL…it’s uncomfortable as HECK. And I’ve wanted to run. run back to, you guessed it…familiarity.

I don’t even LIKE Ohio. But have been wanting to go back. Because, that’s safety.

But I don’t do myself any favors when I run back to familiarity. I just stunt my own growth.

What if I faced the uncomfortable stuff head on? What if I gave myself room to grow?

Uncomfortable is HARD. It sucks. Nobody wants to deal with it. I’d rather live in my own fantasy land at times.

But instead, I’m realizing, if I give myself grace, if I give myself room to grow? I just might be surprised at how well I do. I just might be surprised at how I learn to navigate the tough times.

Tough times are inevitable. And instead of running back to ‘safety’?

This time? I’m giving myself room to grow.