Posted in Empowerment, Life, purpose

Run Your Race

I have a confession…

I’ve suffered from achievement envy the last few years.

Crazy, I know.

But Deidre, you’ve accomplished alot.

I know, and it still doesn’t feel like enough. It still doesn’t feel impressive some days.

Some days, I feel like I’m JUST Kiddo’s mom. Or JUST a daughter, sister, friend.

Some days, I seriously forget what I have, and what I’ve accomplished.

Crazy I know.

I’ve accomplished ALOT in 31 years. I have to remind myself where I came from.

A graduate of one of the poorest urban districts in the country, I still graduated in the top 17% of my HS graduating class, and already had a semester’s worth of college credits under my belt.

I have THREE degrees (Associates, Bachelor’s, Masters). I have won numerous awards. I’m a member of the MOST Illustrious Sorority on Earth, Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Incorporated, a goal of mine I was able to achieve while being a wife, mom, full time employee, full time graduate student and STILL managed to graduate with a 3.52.

I forget the numerous professional accomplishments I’ve racked up. And now that I’m shifting lanes professionally, I get to set new goals and achieve those.

And yet some days, I look at those younger than me, or the same age as me, or older than me, and feel like they’ve accomplished so much more.

But we didn’t start at the same place. And we weren’t given the same set of tools to work with.

We all had different advantages or disadvantages. We all have our own unique toolboxes, with different gifts and talents, different starting points, different things that give us an edge. None of us really started at a deficit, no matter how much we may feel so. We all encountered obstacles, that we had to overcome to get to where we are. And some of those people we envy, had their own challenges and load to carry.

I say all of that to say, I was reminded today that we must run our own race.

“I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.”

Ecclesiastes 9:11

And that’s it right there. How can I run the race given to me if I’m so busy looking at the person next to me (or on an entirely different track)?

I was graced to do what I do. And if I’m being completely transparent, I have been so busy looking at the person next to me that I didn’t run my race. I didn’t do the best that I could with what I’ve been given.

But it’s okay. I have this moment right here and right now.

I must run my race. There’s something to do in this very moment.

Like write this post and share it with you all.

I have been examining what I want lately and why. I don’t want to desire something simply because someone else has it. That envy is a clue, and I look deeper.

Maybe I recognize part of myself in the people I envy. Maybe I realize there’s something in them that I admire and instead of being envious, I can develop that trait or characteristic in myself. Use it as fuel to do what works for me.

I’m determined to run my race, with blinders on. I want to cheer on others with no envy, but instead pure joy because they are running their race and winning at it. Because I want others to do the same for me.

And to be honest, who am I really without all the accolades, achievements, accomplishments?

I’m still Dei.

Still worthy of love.

It’s not about what I have or what I have done. It’s about who I am.

Run your race.

It’s been given to you for a reason.

Posted in Faith, Kanye West, Music, purpose

Intuition and Greatness

“You can still be who you wish you is, it aint happened yet and that’s what intuition is”

-Kanye West, I Wonder

I have always loved Kanye West. Even in his crazy antics (because in many times, he was telling the truth…not always, but often), I appreciated his candor, but most importantly I’ve always appreciated his confidence and his desire to share that with the world.

I wonder how young Kanye was, when he knew he would be great? I wonder how young he was when he found a sense of purpose, direction?

Graduation is one of my favorite albums of his. And “I Wonder” is my favorite song on that album. Perhaps my favorite song of his, period.

“I Wonder” is a song that that has always resonated with me, because I often ‘wondered’ about my dreams.I wondered, if I was crazy for the big goals that I have. If I was being unrealistic. But that song? Has kept me dreaming. And that line, that I quoted above? Has kept me pushing forward.

what if what you want to be, your deepest desire is your intuition telling you of your destiny, what you are meant to be? That innate desire, that inner drive, is where greatness is born.

Only you have the power to make that happen.

True greatness, starts with your intuition, with your thoughts, and with your desires. Many have a desire to be great, but quickly dismiss it. We make excuses. Too poor, too fat, not enough time, not enough luck.

And those excuses become our mantra. And it remains our reality until we dare to do something about it.

Many never will. They’re convinced that their circumstances have already predicted their future. They are sure that their history determines their destiny.

I can reassure you, with that thinking, you are absolutely right.

Proverbs 23:7 says As a man thinketh, so is he.

Your thoughts control your destiny. If you think you can’t, you are right. If you think all hope is gone, you are right. If you think you are poor, you are right.

You see, your thoughts don’t just speak to your current reality; your thoughts are prophetic as well. You have the power to shape your future, your life, using your thoughts and words (Your words are the second part of where greatness is born, that is another post for another time). That’s right, you, are POWERFUL.

Greatness, starts, with your intuition and your thoughts. It’s why you must guard your thoughts. Your intuition is never wrong, you know. If you’re not careful, you can second guess yourself if you are bombarded with negativity, with messages that go directly against your intuition. Your thoughts are a direct byproduct of the people you hang with, the tv shows you watch, the books you read, the music you listen to, the environment you live in, the places you go, the things you pay attention to.

Do you desire to be great? Dare to pay attention to your intuition. Dare to let that inner drive, that desire, push you towards it. Block out naysayers. Turn off social media if you must. Limit your time around people who speak against your desire to be great. Read books that feed your spirit. Listen to music that affirms who you are (not who you are currently, but WHO YOU ARE, prophetically-remember, your intuition, your thoughts are prophetic!).

Greatness does not occur without work, I am not minimizing the importance of hard work, diligence, and good habits. I am saying, it all starts with your intuition.

If you have a feeling you will be great, pay attention to that. Follow it.

As long as you are given the greatest gift of waking up to see another day, your intuition is always right.

Posted in Faith, higher education, Life, purpose, Religion

No Regrets on Purpose

“If you could go back and change one thing in your life, what would it be?” is a common question asked on a regular basis on a variety of different platforms and situations.
My answer? Nothing. Because the smallest change could literally change the course of my entire life.

My freshman year I [briefly] attended a HBCU in Virginia. And while now, I look back on my experience and time there fondly, at the time I was depressed, homesick and unhappy while I was there.

Years later I am able to set aside the depression I experienced and remember mostly the valuable lessons I was taught there, both in and outside of the classroom. Those lessons stuck with me and even shaped me into who I am at this very moment.

Leaving that school was devastating, as I looked at it as coming home empty-handed. No college credits under my belt, no degree, nothing. Just feelings of failure and embarrassment as I enrolled at the local community college.

But who knew that in the moment of my despair, the foundation was laid for my personal and character development? Who knew that depression I went through would strengthen me and position me to encourage others later on? Who knew coming back home would lead to even greater opportunities, meeting my husband, and discovering my passion for education?

God knew. Just like He knew in the Old Testament story of Joseph, that Joseph getting sold into slavery by his own brothers, being imprisoned and punished, would set him up to be one of the highest ranking officials in the country, putting him in a position to save his family’s life during a famine, one of the worst ever.

I’m sure Joseph never saw any of that coming. But I’m sure if he were alive today and you asked him if he could go back and change anything in his life, his answer would be the same as mine.

“Nothing.”

And how do I know this?

Genesis 50: 20 told me so.

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

You may have lost a loved one. Or some friends. or a job. You may find yourself in a situation you never expected to be in. But God allowed it to happen. It all has a greater purpose.

You losing your job led to a career change, or allowed you to be able to take care of a sick relative. Losing friends allowed you to make new friends, appropriate for the season of life you are in now. God knew what you needed before you did, before you even opened your mouth to ask Him.

Your pain, your frustration, has purpose.

God is interested in our happiness, our success, our triumphs, absolutely He is. But He is more concerned with making us like Him. And whatever He has to do or use to do that, He will.

Take comfort in knowing that God wants you to be the very best version of you possible and He will bring you to unexpected places so that can happen. Trust that God knows better than you or any of us ever will.

And in times of trials, frustration, devastation, despair…know there is a purpose, a reason for it all.